Opening Crawl

Surrounded! With little fuel and an increasingly poor sense of direction at their disposal, the crew of the Mynock find themselves grounded on the mysterious planet Myrkr. Desperate to be free from the potential threat of Intergalactic Smuggler Jorj Car'das’ nearby headquarters, the boys piece together a plan that’s just loony enough to work. However, local fauna have other plans! The vile vornskrs, native to Myrkr, sense the Force is strong in Tamlin, and they sense that hunger is strong within themselves…


Plot Summary

"Last episode painted Myrkr as a sylvan bastion of relaxation and profusely poured potables. This week, the claws come out as local wildlife closes in around the crew of the Mynock. Will the boys be able to resist the vornskrs' venom? Will Force-sensitive monsters make off with little Tamlin? Roll for initiative!"

There is growling heard from all sides as five wolf-like creatures (vornskr) approach the ship from all sides. The vornskr seem most interested in Tamlin.

A vornskr lunges at Leenik but misses, the rodian reaches for the animal’s neck but misjudges the distance and his arm goes around the vornskr. Leenik ends up riding the vornskr. He tames the vornskr with the oneliner “you thought you were gonna bite me but that was not your final vornskr.”

Tryst and Bacta dispatch the rest of the vornskr, including the pack leader, which Bacta kills when overtaken by a war flashback. Bacta scares off the last vornskr by throwing the dead pack leader at it with the words “take off, mate, at this point you’re dead weight.”

Both Tamlin and Bacta were pierced by venomous vornskr tail barbs.

Tryst helps Bacta and Tamlin into the ship. Leenik rides the vornskr in and puts the animal in the fresher. They lay Tamlin on the kitchen table and Bacta tries to talk them through dealing with the wounds.


by Abby Gavit @prosodi

The nature probe returns. Leenik names the Vornskr Tony.

Jshih ep2

"A stressed Tryst" by Jshih

Tamlin is in a healing trance. They remove the barb from his neck and the blood gushes onto Leenik, who becomes woozy and squeamish. Bacta attempts to tell Tryst to suture the wound in Tamlin’s neck, but the venom is slowly paralyzing him and his words are unintelligible. Tryst misunderstands and thinks he should cauterize Tamlin’s wound with Bacta’s lightsaber. Bacta frantically tries to get Tryst to stop; Leenik is woozy and thinks Bacta is in shock, and he tries to get Tryst to do it.

by Holly Gardner@slocotion

Tryst decides to do it, using the lightsaber to cauterize Tamlin’s neck wound. Tamlin stops bleeding, but will have a terrible neck scar for life. Bacta drops, and Leenik highfives Tryst and then also falls over. The wolf is screaming from the fresher; the robot is beeping; Tryst slowly sinks to his knees as the stress overtakes him.


  • Bacta utters his now familiar battlecry: I do not have time!  I do NOT have time for this!
  • Origin of Wolvesarekuhl.
Leenik is rolling to try to control the vornskr: So I'll use coercion. How many difficulty?
GM: One difficulty.
JPC: What's its cool?
James: Yeah, what's its cool?
GM: I didn’t stat its cool, because it’s a wolf and I didn’t think this was going to come up.
James: You don’t think — wait a minute, you didn’t think wolves are cool?
JPC: Yeah, folks, address your letters to Kat, who doesn’t think wolves are cool. Let the Internet flood her inbox with hate speech.
  • Pre-Patreon Poverty
JPC: Sorry, we have one pencil.
James: I should get more pencils.
JPC: So if you’re a fan of the show and you want to donate a pencil, just send in to wolvesarekuhl@katmail.campaign --
James: -- /mailing a pencil.
  • Bacta mentions that he was the captain of the dance team for the clone troopers.
  • Catchphrase
James: Would you listen to me before you criticize everything that I do?
Kat: This better be good, D’Amato.
JPC: Could the catchphrase of this whole show be, “This Better Be Good, D’Amato?”
  • The Mynock kitchen is describe in great detail.
See Mynock Kitchen.
  • Myrkr is now pronounced Murr keer. (Kat: We continue to say Myrkr incorrectly. We are hacks who will keep messing it up. Sorry.)
  • JPC mispronounces Tamlin as "Tomlin."
  • The vornskr are continually referred to as acting like and having the qualities of animals/wild animals but Kat does say at one point that they have "more than average intelligence."
  • First mention of a penalty jar, in this case a pun jar (contrasting with later episodes in which the crew reward each other for quips).
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.