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Campaign Flashback:  A New Dope

Opening Crawl

Artifice!  Following a home invasion by mysterious smuggler Jacinto Reth, a young Trystan Valentine — and his comrades Jubna, the Gamorrean and Binbon, the Jawa — have been tasked with an inappropriately dangerous quest: to break into Reth’s impounded ship, the Krayt Fang, and recover its cargo.  However, the Fang has fallen into the foul flippers of Teemo the Hutt, not easily conquered. Our heroes have decided to stage a singing competition to cover their infiltration of the Hutt-owned spaceport.  Their success depends on the involvement of Trystan’s youngest sister, Dalliance Christmas Valentine.  And that depends on the charm of a certain Jawa!

Listen!

Plot Summary

Looking to make a quick butt full of credits, Trystan Valentine and his friends Binbon and Jubna have agreed to sneak into a Hutt-controlled spaceport and steal commandeered cargo from Teemo the Hutt.  Naturally this leads to a singing competition.

Guest Players Stephen Kropa as Jubna, the Gamorrean and Mike Migdall as Musapha “Binbon,” the Jawa technician.

Gamemaster: James D’Amato

Bits

  • Tiny Little Binbon
    • Binbon's breathing.  Listen to 3:00 - 3:06.  
    • Binbon is interested in the etymology of the names "Christmas" and "Valentine."
    • Binbon pulls his drawstrings shut to indicate his male interest in beginning a courtship.
  • Foreshadowing
    • Passionate, diminutive Binbon, er, Musapha utters a heartfelt motivational speech that is the impetus for Christmas Valentine's singing success, and the story behind her huge single, The Unnamed Stranger. And she can't remember his name, even when he's in front of her: Er, Moose Waffles? -- and forgets even the fact that he's a Jawa.
      • After his speech, Dalliance: Humans live and they die. I'm going to live forever, through song.
      • Twi'lek record producer who hears her sing: Christmas Valentine, eh?
    • Jubna, as Jubnette sets an original poem -- that he wrote extolling Vous-Vous' beauty -- to a dirty sexy melody that is hauntingly like -- okay, exactly -- The Imperial March.
Binbon: Has The Imperial March been created at this point?
GM: No!
Binbon: So the etymology of --
Trystan: Yes, Jubna created it!
Binbon: Omigod, the implications!
    • The Mynock
Dango hearing a rustling in an oil bin: Bloody mynocks in there, probably. Hate those things.
Trystan: Mynocks, huh?
Dango: Yeah, they’re the scourge of the galaxy.
Trystan: Scourge of the galaxy, eh?
Trystan files that in his memory banks.


  • Adolescent Brainstorming
    • Trystan: Look, maybe if we make some sort of distraction --
    • Jubna: Bang trash.
    • Trystan: We could bang trash, but that historically has not been good for us.
    • Binbon: It’s scary!
    • Jubna: It’s gonna work at some point.
  • Teenage Wit
    • Guard: Can I help you guys?
    • Binbon: Don’t talk to me before I have my coffee.
    • Trystan: We’re the maintenance crew.
    • Guard: You guys look 14.
    • Jubna: Marry me.
    • GM: Roll deception. You get four blue dies just for the Arrested Development reference.
  • The End of Innocence
    • Trystan: Wait a second, could an adult have lied to us? Is this guy a liar?

Very minor NPCs

  • Bruno Mars: The first entrant in the singing competiton.
  • A Wookiee in the crowd who sings harmony with Jubnette.
  • A guard (one of those races who don't speak Basic) stuffed into an oil drum.
  • Dango: A gullible guard who likes Jubna's quick wit and turns very helpful.
  • A smuggler who is blasted by Binbon (turns out he didn't turn it to stun) and then stuffed into a smuggler's compartment.
    • GM: He's definitely going to die.
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